At that point, my Holy Sh*t! alarm went off, so I grabbed the plant and took another look. It's a tomato plant probably from a tomato that was fed to the worms that created the compost that is currently fertilizing my Westerland rose. In their coffee grind fueled sex-sleep-eat-poop existence, they forgot to eat a tomato seed and my mystery tomato was born.
Phase One: Complete denial that there's a tomato growing next to my rose. I took this picture after I had pulled up the tomato plant, which explains why you can't see it. It's not there.
Phase Two: Stick the tomato next to the carrots and thin out the carrots while keeping an eye on the tomato to see if it morphs into anything else, like an eggplant, or a beaver.
Phase Three: Buy a pot, more soil, and transplant tomato. Wait for actual tomatoes to appear....