Thursday, August 29, 2013

Meeting the Teacher

I was recently asked by writer Kristy Gillespie of Keep Calm and Write On  to reveal a few facts about myself. Normally, I would save a post like this for winter when my garden is dormant and I don't have much to write about. But since my sixth grade science students will soon be learning all about me, I thought I'd share a few facts about myself with you, too.

1. All the horrible rumors about me are true. Yes, I will give you a bathroom pass but no, you can't have one every 10 minutes. No, I don't give homework over the weekend and yes, I will call your parents if you poke him one more time. Yes, you must write in complete sentences at all times in my class and no, you may not play with your cell phone lest you experience my Lightening Fast Cell Phone Snatch. You can have it back at the end of the day. Here's a tissue for your tears. Go sit down.



2. I have a ridiculous memory. I can remember events from five years ago in absolute detail but can't remember why I'm in the kitchen. I'm only 44 but expect full blown dementia to strike at any moment. If you find me wandering down the road buck naked and mumbling, just put a bell on me and bring me back home. Thank you in advance.



3.  I would spend all day in my pajamas if I could. If it were socially appropriate, I would wear them to work. I cannot reconcile my love of pajamas with my love of fashion and often find myself in a "What should I wear?" quandary. It's painful.


These will be the perfect compliment to my garden gnome pajamas.

4. Never having been down a road before is all the motivation I need to give it a try. If I don't like where I end up, I'll just make a U-turn. Quite simple, really.



5. I avoid all plants that are stabby, with the exception of my roses, those beautiful sadists intent on impaling me at every turn.



6. I am an outgoing, social person swirled with a need for solitude. I will occasionally retreat into my turtle shell and close the doors behind me. I'm never gone for long. Just knock if you're worried.



7. It's hard to beat me at Scrabble, my favorite game. However, I'm fairly non-competitive and we play by house rules, meaning the less tiles we have, the looser the "rules" become. Naughty words in foreign languages? Absolutely!



8. A friend and I once had a very deep, philosophical discussion on what type of flower our personalities most resembled. I am anything that resembles a daisy: What you see is what you get. I like to think I'm full of mystery and intrigue but I'm not. I need to work on that.



9. I'm a kamikaze shopper. I go in, find what I need, and leave. The idea of spending all day wandering around a shopping mall is not my idea of fun. But I love online shopping because I can do it in my pajamas. Because I occasionally forget what I've ordered, it's an excellent way to surprise myself.



10. I have no desire to be a copy of anybody else. I am my own authentic, unique self.  I was born original. Why die a clone?


60 comments:

  1. Ha! I enjoyed this, Tammy. Good luck with the students--they're lucky to have you for a teacher!

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    1. Thanks! The next time I'm passing out lunch detention slips, I'll remind my darlings of that. :o)

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  2. I like you. We have some of the same ideas. Have a great year. Sixth graders are great, so eager to learn, pre puberty (mostly). They know that you are still the boss. I especially like your #1.

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    1. I like you, too. :o) I really love 6th graders. They crack me up on a daily basis. I've taught every grade from 2nd to 8th but sixth is my favorite. I am definitely the boss in my class. An 11 yr old is not my equal.

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  3. and when they ask you "but why?" tell them you are the adult and because you said so. Have fun and don't let them blow up the classroom.

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    1. I really wish I got to blow stuff up but my strongest chemical is a bottle of antique lemon juice. It has a pH of about 0 and would probably eat through metal. Hey, there's an idea...

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  4. Nice to meet you, Tammy. I bet you're an awesome science teacher.

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    1. I'm structured and don't tolerate any nastiness/rudeness from my students. But they know I love them and I try to make every day fun. My favorite days are when the gerbils escape and I get to set things on fire. :o)

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  5. Tammy, it's so nice to read all about you, I feel I've known you for ages, since there are quite a few items that I agree with wholeheartedly.
    I thought everyone knew what "yahrzeits" meant?
    Enjoy the new school year.

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    1. Yahrzeits is my favorite word. It's one of those fabulous, all purpose words like "good" and "nice". ;o)

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  6. Replies
    1. I just gotta be me. I told my son I was going to wear my "Make cupcakes not war" t-shirt to his boot camp graduation just to watch him freak out. :o) I didn't wear it but was so tempted...

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  7. I would like to have you for my science teacher! Can I go back to school at my age --- back to sixth grade? I wish.

    Fun post : )

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    1. Come on down and join the fun! But here's the real question: do you remember how to open a locker? :o)

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    2. No. I got a combination lock for the locker at my gym, and couldn't remember how to twirl the dial forward and in reverse so it would work. My son showed me how, but sighed and said "Mom, didn't you ever go to school?"

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  8. Haha, great post and I see we have a lot in common. You are the kind of teacher I like, you let them feel you are the boss.

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    1. Thanks! I do not take orders from a kid, that's for sure. But I do let them work on projects where they get to decide how to direct the project so they get to be their own boss.

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  9. Well said sister!!!! Your kids are so blessed to have such a kicking cool mama!!!! You seriously had me at pajamas! And what a no nonsense teacher you are....love it!!! I like that you are a daisy. What you see is what you get is a refreshing find these days! What humor...so nice to be connected to you in this blogging world!

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    1. I'm pretty goofy in class but I'm as much pure nonsense as I am no-nonsense, if that makes any sense at all. I tend to be direct with my students so they don't have to worry about how to interpret what I'm saying. But I once wore a colander on my head for hat day because I didn't have a hat. It was pretty fun and my head stayed cool. :o)

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  10. I hope your students appreciate you! I'm with you on the memory one; only with me it's names. They slip out of my mind when I need to recall them only to reappear when it doesn't matter anymore. And I love number 10; if only everyone could be happy with who they are.

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    1. I like me. :o) The year I had 165 students was a real challenge when I had to learn all their names. If they'd all been named Fred it would have been so much easier. ;o)

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  11. Nice to know you better. I hope your students appreciate you. I like the non-conformist cartoon. Does it remind you of your students? Insisting they are unique but doing exactly the same things and wearing exactly the same clothes as all their friends!

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    1. Exactly! They all look like slightly different versions of the same person. In their attempts be look unique they all become clones of each other and don't understand the irony of their actions.

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  12. I like you just the way you are! You left out your humor, which always gives me a great laugh and smile, especially when I need it! :)

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    1. Please remember that when I'm screaming like a banshee at the haunted house next month. :o)

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  13. A very enjoyable post! I do feel that I know you better. One obvious thing you didn't mention: you're a fine writer.

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  14. These are some great facts about you. Love that you have such a wonderful memory! I forget things 10 minutes after they've happened, never to remember them again. And the fact that you're like a daisy - how sweet! But #4 was my favorite. It could be a life lesson. :)

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    1. My brain feels like a chunk of Swiss cheese sometimes. Sometimes info just falls out. :o) I've used the U turn as a life lesson before. If things don't turn out the way you want/need them to, just turn around and go back. :o) I once U turned my way across Maine.

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  15. Tammy, your students are fortunate to have you. Over the years, friends and relatives who teach have educated and entertained us greatly with tales from the classroom, illustrating how essential is a sense of humor.

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    1. A slightly twisted sense of humor is vital to being a teacher. Last year I had to tell a student on the 1st day of school that he was at the wrong school. So very funny. I had to keep a straight face the whole time and it was killing me. But the poor kid was so confused I didn't dare laugh. But he had an excellent excuse for being tardy to class.

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  16. This was a fun one. If I had kids, I would want you to be their teacher.

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    1. Awww, thanks! We blow up soap in my class. Stick a chunk of Ivory soap in the microwave and that sucker puffs up like a cloud. Super cool. :o)

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  17. Tammy, If you're half as much fun as your posts (particularly this one) I really wish you'd move nearby. We'd have a blast! I just kept nodding my head, laughing, and saying, "yes, yes, oh yeah." Sigh. And you might enjoy a novel by Rosina Lippi (local writer) called "The Pajama Girls of Lambert Square" if only because one of the main characters runs a fine linen shop in a small town where she and her employees work in their pajamas all day. Just a thought. Thanks for a great post!

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    1. Thanks!! :o) My blog posts are a pretty accurate representation of who I am. I'm actually a CA native but now live on the east coast. I need to check out that novel. Pajamas are seriously undervalued as a fashion statement.

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  18. Oh my gosh...I'm cracking up here. So many of your points ring a bell with me...

    Happy back to school days...

    Jen

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    1. I work with several very smart and outrageously funny people who make going to work a lot of fun. If I could only do it in my pajamas.... :o)

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  19. Tammy, now I know many things about you and I respect you more!

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    1. Thank you so much! That makes me feel good. :o)

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  20. I like, "I was born original so why die a clone?" Perfect! Great images to accompany your reveals. Now if they could more fashionable pajamas we'd all be much happier.

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    1. It's interesting to me how fearful people can be about being their own true selves. I like me. I don't want to be anyone else. Now, about those fashionable pj's... :o)

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  21. Since I wear sweats as both pajamas and garden togs, there are days when I never have to change out of my pajamas. Sweet or what? Love all of your posts and this one is especially fun! We start on September 3. You?

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    1. I live in sweats when I'm around the house in the winter and have been known to garden in my pj's. Ya gotta love comfort! Sept 3 is our big day, too. I'm already hoping for a very snowy winter. ;o)

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  22. Oh Tammy a woman and teacher after my own soul. I too love my PJs and shopping online...I detest the mall and crowds. Fabulous post!! Have a great school year!!

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    1. If I'm out somewhere where the shops are cool and funky and have stuff I've never seen before, then shopping can be fun. But to just wander around a Basic Chain Store packed with stuff I'm not planning on buying just kills me. Once I discovered I could do most of my shopping at midnight in my pajama's, I was hooked. Have a good year, too! :o)

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  23. Some of our shops here in the uk have banned jimjams completely ! Driving people to do all their shopping online !!

    I too am a teacher - first day back today after the summer hols ... autumn is coming !

    Loved the post - honest and funny !!

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    1. I've only been back 2 days and feel like I've been hit by a truck. So tired! Time for my pajamas... :o)

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  24. Enjoyed this so much. You are just the sort of person I would chum around with in real life. Of course it would be terrific fun but it is the underlying kindness in all you do which makes you my kind of gal.

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    1. Thank you so much! What an incredible comment. It made me smile and feel good all over. :o)

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  25. A slightly twisted sense of humour can be vital in many life situations, I have often been accused of having ‘gallows humour’ in regards to my health situation, often said to me in a disdained voice, and my response have always been to smile and say “Yes, isn’t it great!”
    Loved your list of info, especially the one about memory, u-turns, shopping and PJs – I can so relate to them all! And number 10 was very well said, couldn’t agree more.
    Good luck with the new school year!

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    1. Thanks! My humor is definitely twisted. My posts are actually quite filtered. ;o) Laughter is the best remedy for almost everything. I was laughing so hard with a friend at work today I thought I was going to pee my pants.

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  26. Oh! I have loved coming to know you because I have many of the similar characteristics. I am a math professor and when I was teaching on-ground universities, I followed the same rules with my teacher. But since I love my pyjamas and garden too much, I have now become full-time online professor.

    Those black things that you asked me about in one of my blog post are purple potatoes -- they are purple throughout.

    I loved the sulfur smell in Lassen Volcanic because I always loved that smell in Chemistry lab.

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    1. A purple potato would make pretty groovy mashed potatoes. :o) I like the face to face interaction of teaching so I don't know how well I'd do as an online professor. But I can't argue with working in your pajamas. :o)

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  27. Your students are lucky to have such a creative and fun-loving teacher. Happy Teaching and Happy Learning!
    David/:0)
    P.S I needed this post very much. You have cheered me up on a very gloomy day. :0)

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    1. I things get better. Maybe your garden will inspire your new neighbors to fill that empty space with a garden.

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  28. A great post sprinkled with humour, wit and honesty. I hope that you have a great school year. I bet the kids just love you!

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  29. I don't think we are concerned that you will die a clone. My son would have loved you in science, and I don't think you need to give the phones back.

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  30. interesting post, as well as funny. One thing I totally relate to is what you call kamikaze shopping. I call it the Swoop Technique, and practiced it to perfection pre online shopping, now only do it if I have to.

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  31. interesting post, as well as funny. One thing I totally relate to is what you call kamikaze shopping. I call it the Swoop Technique, and practiced it to perfection pre online shopping, now only do it if I have to.

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  32. Hi Tammy, I loved reading this, your personality definitely comes through in your writing. I bet I could find several posts through your archives that demonstrate each point you've listed.

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